Lance Armstrong retires, hold on to your wallet

Lance Armstrong, the seven-time Tour de France Champion, and suspected PED user is calling it quits to his bike career. Armstrong, 39, was clearly done at last year's Tour where he finished just three spots ahead of two French kids riding their bikes to school. He's going to retire and raise more money for cancer, um, awareness I guess?

Armstrong says he wants to work with California lawmakers to create a cigarette tax to fund more research on cancer. He did similar work in Texas and we're going to be paying for it here for the next decade. In 2007 Armstrong shepherded a bill authorizing $3 billion in bonds to fund research here. As testimony showed, the money would do little to nothing to advance a cure. What it would do is allow Texas to pay higher salaries to researchers and attract them. That's right, the taxpayers of Texas are on the hook for $3 billion to increase the odds that a cure for cancer is found here. As if a cure found in California wouldn't be available everywhere. That's less than 10 percent of what the NCI alone spends each year. I can't find the numbers from CDI, states and other nations, but it's clear that Texas' $300 million a year is a drop in the bucket.

Now Armstrong is going to push his shell game to the Golden State. I guess we'll have a bidding war, but other than enriching the researchers, it's hard to see the benefit to cancer patients or their families. But Armstrong, who was a mediocre biker until he contracted a disease linked to PED's, has never been shy about pushing himself to the front. Whether it's dumping the wife who stood by him through his cancer, or dumping the fiance who contracted cancer herself, the Armstrong behind the headlines has never been worthy of the Armstrong the media created.

Armstrong will continue to push to keep his name out there. But it will be at the expense of the cause he claims to care about. Texas agreed to borrow the money before there was a $27 billion deficit. California's woes are already legendary. How much meaningless money will taxpayers want to spend while schools are being closed?