Wail of a tale

Anyone else sick of Yankee media ripping Dallas for the weather? Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN has been the worst of the bunch, though Bill Simmons has made a strong run at biggest whiner. Simmons even ripped Dallas for not having enough strippers. Of course, when the Super Bowl was in Houston, the best stripper town in America, the luckiest writer in the business didn't like that either.

Let me explain it to y'all. I'll type slowly so you can understand. Dallas gets three or four snows a year on average. We don't buy snow tires. We don't use chains and we don't salt the roads. Those things cost money and the snow will be gone in three days. What are we supposed to do with them the other 355 days of the year? I'm sorry you're stuck in your hotel, having to live off an obscene expense account while you write for four hours a week to promote the most over-hyped, overrated, corporate whoring convention in the world. But that is the career path you chose.

Let me explain the facts of life. We have a $27 billion budget deficit here. We don't get much snow or ice. When we do, we're perfectly content to stay home until it melts. We're not going to go spend a bunch of money on snow plows so the idiots who bought hotel rooms in Dallas can have an easy trip when they learn the game isn't being played in Dallas, or that the strippers are on the other side of town. We don't do winter here. We do summer. It starts about April 23rd and goes through Halloween. We're going to spend our money on freon. The next time I read about people dying in Boston because the temperature hits 90 and they don't have air conditioning, I'll try to stifle a laugh.